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Woven Threads

I read this book that kind of struck me this week. It says, “Chains do not hold a marriage together. It’s threads. Hundreds of tiny threads that sow people together through the years.” Don’t you think there is a lot of truth in that?

 

I really like that, because what it does is give a lot of sacredness to the ordinary moments we share. Doesn’t have to be the big things; it’s just our daily life.

 

It’s not the big heavy chains of commitment. It’s those little threads, those memories we share that we weave together.

 

Having dinner together. Having date night. Taking a walk.

 

With our kids, all the experiences. Friend, consider the tiny threads that weave the two of you together today.

 

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Melt Down

Marriage is like a long trip in a tiny rowboat.

 

Somebody said, “If one passenger starts to rock the boat, the other has to steady it. Otherwise, they’ll both go down to the bottom.”

 

Isn’t that true?

 

I really like that because we kinda have a rule, you can’t both melt down at the same time.

 

Which is sometimes a rule that is broken because when one person gets emotional it’s easy to fan that flame and get emotional yourself.

 

I know it.

 

But that’s a real gift you could give your spouse is if you can stay clam in the face of their anxiety or their anger.
It really does do a lot to bring help to them.

 

Friend talk about it in advance because that’s what will help you steady the boat when it gets rocked.

 

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

 

Knowing Your Spouse

I’ve been on this kind of banana and peanut butter kick, haven’t I?

 

You have that—and your Lemon Sorbet. It’s so funny because as soon as I take for granted that I know exactly what you like, you change. You have this new thing, like the chocolate peanut butter ice cream or whatever it is.

 

There is something about that in marriage that we’re always in flux. We’re always changing and staying current with each other is the goal.

 

You can kind of get bored with each other if you take each other for granted and think, “Oh, I know you,” and make assumptions. The truth is we got to check in with each other, stay current, and really know our spouse.

 

Friend, think about that in your own marriage. Are you staying current today?

 

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Gifts of Love

Okay, I’m the first to admit it I am not a morning person. If it’s up to me, I’d get up at the crack of noon almost everyday.

 

That is so true about you. That’s why this is so fun for me. The other morning we had to get up super early for a responsibility. The alarm went off, and I was supposed to get up first. You turned to me and in your sleepy voice said, “If you don’t want to get up yet, I’ll stay in bed.”

 

It made sense at the time to me.

 

I knew in your sleepy voice you were trying to offer me that extraordinary move of getting up first so I could sleep in.

 

Sometimes a gift comes out that way. The intention is there it just doesn’t sound right. Friend, think about those gifts of love even when they don’t come out right. They can still be received with an open heart.

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM

Listen to today’s audio here.

Jumping to Conclusions

Hey friend, have you ever had that experience from your marriage where your spouse kinda jumps to conclusions about your motives and you’re immediately in the dog house when you really didn’t deserve to be there?

 

You had that experience recently, didn’t you?

 

And it was my fault.

 

You called to say you were running late to pick John up at the school bus stop and I thought just typical of you just pushed your schedule tried to do too much and you couldn’t get there in time.

 

I can understand that but in this case I really was following through and yet sometimes I do the same things to you.

 

We read motives in that aren’t there.

 

That is never healthy for a marriage and friend think about that in your own relationship, make sure you’re not reading motives that aren’t there

 

 

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

7

Relationship Preparation

Our three-year-old and our eight year-old boys are preparing for something a little unique and special for them.

 

A very special honor—they are going to be Ring Bearers together, which they have never done. We’re in the process of getting them measurements for their little tuxes, and the parents are really prepared. We’re trying to coach them down that isle.

 

That reminds you of all of the preparation that goes into that day, that wedding ceremony. I can’t help but think sometimes are we investing as much into the relationship at the same time.

 

Sometimes that gets over looked, and that’s really the most valuable piece.

 

Friend, think about that in your own relationship. What are you doing to prepare, no matter your age or stage, for the days ahead?

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Clarification Can Go a Long Way

Shine.FM this is Dr. Les Parrott, and I’m Dr. Leslie Parrott, your Shine.FM relationship experts.

We had an engagement in Boston this week and we’re waiting at Logan Airport for the taxicab and I told the guy I need a taxicab that takes a credit card.

That’s right.

So he went down the line yelling that out in that great Boston accent.

“Card, card need somebody with a card.”

Yeah and I’m not from Boston so I said what is he talking about.

I said it’s as plane as day to me, I grew up there.

That’s when we need to clarify content it’s just another example of how valuable that is.

Especially in marriage.

It is so easy for me to jump to conclusions and I got to check in with you.

Yeah and so when you can’t quite understand what your spouse is saying, friend think about that, just a little bit of clarification can go a long way.

 

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

The Control Freak

You know, Gerry Spence, world famous attorney said something very interesting in an interview about his marriage on day.

 

He said, “The day I finally realized I didn’t need to control my wife and if I did I would destroy our marriage was the day our marriage began.”

 

Isn’t that an amazing insight?

 

It is a struggle for all of us just to release control of the person we love.

 

Well you know I wrote a book some years ago called The Control Freak.

 

Yes you did.

 

I call it your autobiography.

 

I know you do.

 

I like control, and we both do.

 

Everybody is somebody’s control freak some of the time.

 

But when we give up some of that control in our own marriage that’s the day our marriage can really begin.

 

 

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

A Fresh Perspective

Well, there are some artists that sell their work on the street, but we saw an artist that actually puts his art on the street, literally.

Yeah, these chalk drawings he creates are mind boggling because they create on optical allusion that just tricks you.

It’s from the perspective you’re looking at it because on the one side it might look like there is a deep whole in the street or a mountain of money or something you literally think is right there, until you see it from a different perspective and you go, “Oh, it’s just flat on the sidewalk.”

Your mind can hardly process it, but that’s what it’s like when you get a fresh perspective on something.

The same is true in our relationships getting a fresh perspective see things from a whole new angle.

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Celebrate The Milestones

Well, you had kind of an interesting speaking engagement this week, didn’t you? Yeah, I had the chance to talk about marriage and relationships at a retirement community. Yeah, not your typical audience for this content. No, everyone there was at least two decades into retirement and they had such a great sense of humor. In fact, someone came up to me afterwards and said, “We are celebrating our 90th anniversary.” My jaw just dropped. Then she said, “90 months.” Well, there’s a lesson there, isn’t there? I think so. Even celebrating the months along the way is not a bad message for any of us. Friend, think about that in your own marriage. Celebrate the milestones, even if they are little ones.

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM Relationship Experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.