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deal breaker

Deal Breaker?

DEAL-BREAKER from the show today, for the ladies: Let’s say you’re single, and you meet the best guy. He’s intelligent, a great provider, loyal, incredibly funny and fun, great-looking, and a spiritual leader. Everything you ever wanted. Only quirk is…

He keeps a dozen mice. And they get to roam freely through the house. If you marry him, it’s just part of the deal. You will be living with a dozen free-running mice the rest of your life. (When one dies, another replaces it.) IS THIS A DEAL-BREAKER?

I certainly hope not. I would certainly hope a dozen mice would not come between you and your dreams. Sherri says, without hesitation, “Yes. Deal-breaker.” So strange.

Learning from the Previous Generation

Shine.FM this is Dr. Les Parrott, and I’m Dr. Leslie Parrott, your Shine.FM relationship experts.

Well it’s that time of year again we’re gearing up for our marriage class at the university, always a fun experience.

 

This is a highlight because these college students are beginning to learn about what it takes to have a great marriage.

 

And the cool thing about this class is not the lectures but the couples we bring in to interview in front of them.

 

These are couples of every age and stage of married life and they are so transparent.

 

They let students peer into their married life and ask any question they have.

 

And they’ll ask any question that is the fun part about it.

 

You know I love seeing that when we tap into a pervious generation that we can learn from.

 

You don’t have to be in a class to do that, you can do that in your own marriage today.

 

 

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Appreciation List

You know, there is a little tool that marriage and family therapists have in their tool bag that seems so simple, yet when we rely on it, we know it’s going to make a difference. It’s just the activity of making a list of the strengths and the things you love about your spouse. Yeah, it seems like how could that make any difference, but when you sit down and do that, no matter your age or your stage of your relationship, you begin to cultivate a new sense of appreciation for her. And that’s what it is. You take each other for granted in marriage. It reminds you of the things that are really exceptional about your spouse. Friend, think about this in your own relationship. Try it tonight. Make a list of the things you appreciate about each other and watch how that draws you closer together.

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM Relationship Experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

A Good Night’s Sleep

sleep

I can’t believe this. A study came out on sleep this week. It shows that sometimes people get, obviously, too little sleep, but sometimes they say we get too much sleep.

 

That sounds impossible. I can’t ever imagine that situation. In fact, I’d like to test that study out.

 

I don’t think that’s going to happen in our house with little ones around, but I think it has something to do with finding the balance and getting a good nights rest.

 

That’s really true, and as a spouse you have the power to impact to impact the quality of sleep that you give one another.

 

That’s exactly right. We wrote a little book called Pillow Talk and discovered the last words you give your partner before they dose off sets the tone for how they sleep.

 

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Strength in Numbers

One of our neighbors still has his Christmas lights up long after the Christmas season. We drove by there the other day and I said, “Man, they must have a long to do list, not be able to get to that task yet, right?”

We weren’t condemning, we were empathizing. Sometimes it takes me a week to get the trashcan from the curb after it’s trash day, back up to the house. Life is so busy.

I think, why are you doing that and not me, right? Because that is what I’m suppose to do.

That’s what I think! Sometimes just getting through that to do list takes two people.

That’s the strength that comes from a relationship. Think about how the two of you can tackle those things on your list together.

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM Relationship Experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Woven Threads

I read this book that kind of struck me this week. It says, “Chains do not hold a marriage together. It’s threads. Hundreds of tiny threads that sow people together through the years.” Don’t you think there is a lot of truth in that?

 

I really like that, because what it does is give a lot of sacredness to the ordinary moments we share. Doesn’t have to be the big things; it’s just our daily life.

 

It’s not the big heavy chains of commitment. It’s those little threads, those memories we share that we weave together.

 

Having dinner together. Having date night. Taking a walk.

 

With our kids, all the experiences. Friend, consider the tiny threads that weave the two of you together today.

 

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Melt Down

Marriage is like a long trip in a tiny rowboat.

 

Somebody said, “If one passenger starts to rock the boat, the other has to steady it. Otherwise, they’ll both go down to the bottom.”

 

Isn’t that true?

 

I really like that because we kinda have a rule, you can’t both melt down at the same time.

 

Which is sometimes a rule that is broken because when one person gets emotional it’s easy to fan that flame and get emotional yourself.

 

I know it.

 

But that’s a real gift you could give your spouse is if you can stay clam in the face of their anxiety or their anger.
It really does do a lot to bring help to them.

 

Friend talk about it in advance because that’s what will help you steady the boat when it gets rocked.

 

If you have a comment or question for Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.