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AngryDad

Husband’s Angry Personality is Rubbing Off

Dear Dr. Bill,

I have an angry husband who had an angry father and an angry grandfather.  I am seeing these tendencies in our own young sons and I would love any kind of advice you could give.

–Becky

Dear Becky,

The best way to help your sons with their anger problem is for your husband to get some help with HIS anger problem.  Kids learn how to deal with life and relationships from their parents…your husband learned an angry coping style from his own father, and now he’s passing that pattern on to your sons.

The bible calls this “generational sin.”  Your husband was sinned against by his angry father.  That in turn has caused him to sin against you and your sons by taking out his anger on you.  Your family needs to break the pattern and the responsibility rests with your husband.

I would encourage you to approach him in love, when he’s not angry, and tell him you are concerned about the behavior you are observing in your sons.  Ask him to consider if it could be possible that they are imitating him.

My prayer would be that your husband has the ability to step back, take responsibility for his behavior and make changes.  If that’s the case, he should find a good therapist who has experience in dealing with anger-management.

The counseling at Focus on the Family can help you find a licensed Christian counselor in your area.  Eventually the entire family should be involved in the counseling process, to learn more effective ways to communicate and resolve conflict.

If your husband is unwilling to acknowledge that he has a problem and simply responds with more anger or blaming, you should seek help and support from close friends or relatives.  You might also consider reading Dr. James Dobson’s book “Love Must be Tough,”

Thanks for writing, Becky.  I’m Bill Maier for Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

dieting

Resolutions: Just Pick One

Many of us are forging ahead with our list of New Year’s resolutions. So where will you be a year from now—celebrating a victory or struggling with regret?

For resolutions to succeed, it’s best to lose the list and just pick one. Trying too much at once increases your chance of giving up.

And choose a realistic goal. Trying to lose forty pounds in a month isn’t going to happen. In addition, your goal should be specific. “I want to lose five pounds by March” is much more effective than “I want to lose some weight.”

When you have set a goal, find someone who can hold you accountable—or, better yet, has the same goal. A good friend can keep you motivated.

You can be victorious over a resolution, but you have to make a resolution to start out right.

You can read additional blogs by Dr. Larimore on this topic here. Just scroll down the home page to find and click on the article in which you’re interested. In addition, you can see Dr. Walt’s twice-daily devotional, Morning Glory, Evening Grace, here. Last, but not least, limited numbers of autographed copies of Dr. Walt’s books are available here.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Cutting

Teen Girls Are Cutting & Legalized Marijuana

Teen girls are cutting themselves in record numbers—and sometimes they are doing it with their friends!

A new study out of New Zealand found that nearly 22% of 13- to 16-year old girls surveyed admitted to cutting.

Dr. Shelly James at Massey University says although the number was shocking, that’s not really what caught her attention.

She says the common perception is that cutters are isolated, unpopular outcasts.  But in reality, the cutters were just as likely to be among the most popular kids in school.

Her study also found that many girls had actually self-harmed in front of other people—or actually that girls had engaged in cutting together.

Dr. James says “Approximately 23% of self-harming kids had harmed in front of other people, and nearly 12% had actually harmed in conjunction with another person, so they had harmed together….that was staggering to me.”

In other news, according to the Pew Research Center’s latest poll, 52% of Americans now believe marijuana should be legal. It marks the first time a majority of those polled have been pro-pot.

Also, fewer and fewer Americans believe that smoking marijuana is a moral issue.

Today, just 32% believe it’s morally wrong, compared with 50% just seven years ago.

So what does the bible say about using marijuana?  Well, although it doesn’t specifically address it, it does command us to show self-control (Titus 1:8) and to “have a clear mind in every situation” (2 Timothy 4:5).

If you’re a parent and would like to get some solid facts on marijuana and your kids, go to drugfree.org.

I’m Bill Maier for Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.