jeremiah 29-11 (2)

What verse do you go to for encouragement?

A lot has been happening already this week here in the U.S. between the flooding in Colorado and yesterday’s tragedy at the Navy Shipyard in Washington D.C.—and it’s only Tuesday! When things seem to be going crazy around you…what bible verse do you cling too? For me I usually go to Jeremiah 29:11! What’s yours?

~Garrett from Shine Afternoons

laughter

Your Spouse’s Funny Bone

laughter

Anyone who hears us talk much about marriage know we value laughter.

Oh, it is so intimate to laugh together.

But isn’t there kind of a double-edged sword when it comes to laughter?

Yeah, there can be, because when you are on the receiving end of a ‘zing’ sometimes you can really get your feelings hurt.

Well, that is the result of sarcasm, right? That’s humor at someone else’s expense.

And I tell you what, the truth is some people feel really connected when they are throwing around those kinds of barbs and other people feel very distanced by it.

It comes to understanding your spouse’s funny bone. Did they grow up in a home where that kind of thing was connecting or disengaging? It’s a good question to explore together.

If you have a comment or question for the New Shine.FM relationship experts Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, visit the relationships experts page at Shine.FM.

Listen to today’s audio here.

Acne

Anxious Acne

Acne

So, your teen years are just an adolescent memory. Yet you look in the mirror and find…acne. Does this stress you out? Well that could be part of your problem.

Increases in adult acne have been linked to an increase in stress. When you’re under stress, a hormone is secreted in the same skin gland that produces oils and plugs your pores. The debate continues on the connection between anxiety and acne, but there is scientific evidence.

Whether you are a teen—or just tense, acne may be an issue. And your family doctor or dermatologist can help. If stress is a problem, now may be the time to work on controlling it. Clear your mind—and you might clear your skin as well.

Find more information on this and many other health topics, when you log onto Shine.fm.

Listen to today’s audio here.

soccer

Parenting vs. Coaching

soccer

Dear Dr. Bill,

My daughter is 8 years old and very athletic.  She does very well in gymnastics.  Yet, she lacks discipline and struggles in soccer, where her dad is the coach.

The soccer season is starting up again, and I’m dreading the inevitable fights and meltdowns between them.  My daughter doesn’t want to disappoint Dad — but she’s getting nothing out of soccer.  What do you recommend we do?

–Lisa

 

Dear Lisa,

I believe the best solution is for your daughter to move to a different soccer team, one that is NOT coached by her dad.  Some sports leagues don’t allow parents to coach their own kids, and for good reason.

They’ve made this rule for one of two reasons: either the parent engages in favoritism, giving their own child special breaks that the other kids don’t get, or the parent is extra hard on their child, pushing them to the limit and criticizing them more harshly than the other kids on the team.

It sounds like your husband falls into the “no special breaks for my kid” camp, and your daughter is miserable because of it.

If your husband is a super-competitive type, he may make the mistake of basing worth on achievement, and affirming your daughter only when she succeeds. That can have a negative impact on her self-esteem for the rest of her life.  It will also put a strain on their relationship, and major explosions will occur when she reaches the teen years.

While we should encourage our kids to develop self-discipline and pursue excellence, it’s critical that our relationship with them is based on unconditional love and acceptance.

We need to be their biggest cheerleaders, affirming them when they succeed and encouraging them when they fail.

By the way, a great book that would be helpful for you to read with your husband is “Grace Based Parenting,” by Dr. Tim Kimmel.

Thanks for writing, Lisa.  If you have a question for me about family issues or Christian living, click the “Questions” tab on the Family Expert page.

Listen to today’s audio here.