It’s Garrett from Shine Afternoons with the snow swirling around today, I thought we’d share some “warm” thoughts. What makes me feel all toasty is thinking about my hometown of Eau Claire, WI and what it’s famous for. If you guess it’s where Presto Fryers are made you’d be right! (yup—-the Fry Daddy….the companion of fried cheese-curds). What is your hometown famous for?
It’s Garrett from Shine Afternoons and over the weekend my wife asked
our 9-year old son Nathan to put his clean clothes away and hang up
his cub scout shirt. Here’s the picture of what we found. How do you
handle getting your kids to do chores at your house? Do you expect
sometimes they might need a reminder about them (or two or three).
Let me know how you handle your kids and chores this afternoon.
Habits are hard to break! From nail biting (guilty) to procrastinating, our bad habits die hard. In Lisa’s Home School, learn some tricks to help you kick them once and for all!
13-year-old Richard had reason to despise lions while growing up with his family on a ranch in Kenya: The beasts routinely killed their livestock, which he was largely responsible for. The clever boy put his mind to work and devised an invention that not only deters lions, but does so without killing or injuring them. It’s called “Lion Lights,” and it has gained Richard the attention and admiration of folks around Kenya and around the world. Read his remarkable story here.
Dear Dr. Bill,
I’ve been dating a woman who is a widow. Can you tell me anything about dating and perhaps marrying someone who has suffered the loss of a spouse? Most of the books and articles I’ve seen relate to remarriage after divorce. While some of the information seems relevant, I wonder if widowhood puts dating and remarriage in a different context, especially where there are preschool-age children involved. Do you have any advice about this?
It’s encouraging to hear that you’re developing a relationship with this woman. My main advice to both of you is to take things slow. As you might expect, marrying a widow or a widower is much different from marrying someone who is divorced. There are far fewer complications, emotionally, financially, legally and spiritually.
However, it’s important to understand that when someone divorces or loses a spouse, there can be a tendency to rush into a new relationship—the “rebound effect.” This can cause significant problems down the line, as the person who has experienced the loss hasn’t taken the time to grieve and heal.
Many marital experts recommend that widows and widowers shouldn’t consider getting remarried for a minimum of one to two years after the loss of a spouse. Since you mention that the woman you’re dating has pre-school aged kids, my guess is that she lost her husband fairly recently.
If so, I would encourage you to put the brakes on your relationship and keep it at the friendship level for a while. I’d also suggest you consult with your pastor or a Christian counselor about the dynamics involved.
Also, if you decide to move forward into engagement, let me recommend an excellent book for you to read. It’s called “The Remarriage Checkup” by family therapist and remarriage expert Ron Deal.
Thanks for writing Kenny. If you have a question for me about family issues or Christian living, click the “Questions” link on the Family Expert page.